Ah… sexy girls. There’s really nothing better in this world, is there?
It’s nice to see them in their pencil skirts, high heels, sun dresses, lululemons, or any other form of flattering attire that accentuates their wonderful curves.
It’s great to have them smile at you, and dance with you, and hug you.
It’s amazing to smell their aromatic perfumes and shampoos and admire their long, flowing, finely kempt hair.
But how do you get them to give you more than a kiss on the cheek? How do you get them to treat you like more than someone they find as “nice or adorable” or worse – “creepy”? How do you get them to reveal their bodies and willingly beg you to take them to your bed (or any other room/surface that you would like to have them on)?
That’s what today’s topic is on: how to successfully seduce sexy girls and put yourself in the position of actually sleeping with them.
Sexy Girls: Simple, Not Easy
Doing anything in life at a high level is always simple. It’s rarely easy, but it’s always simple.
Want to be able to make ten 3-point shots in a row on the basketball court?
Step 1. Learn proper shooting form
Step 2. Get a basketball and find a court
Step 3. Spend thousands of hours practicing and taking tens of thousands of shots
Want to travel the world?
Step 1. Choose your desired destinations
Step 2. Get a passport
Step 3. Make a financial plan
Step 4. Buy tickets and leave
Getting sexy girls is as simple as these previous examples.
Getting girls is really that simple. But it’s not necessarily easy. Are any of the above examples easy? Absolutely not.
In example 1, you need to have the discipline to practice long and regularly enough to be able to make shots consistently. Most people would (and do) give up before they can reach that level.
In the second example, you need to be aware of how long it takes to actually plan a long-term worldly sojourn. You need to plot out a course for the order in which you’re going to visit different countries. You need to figure out the challenge of visas. You need to do hours of research on flights, trains, buses, and accommodations. You need to find the best deal for your budget. You need to plan a monthly spending limit for yourself. You need to get immunizations. You need to deal with the fear of being in entirely new and unfamiliar cultures.
In the third example, you need to get over your approach anxiety. You need to have the right air and appearance so that the girl will entertain your approach. You need to know how to ask the right questions and qualify her. You need to know how to persist through tests and lulls in the interaction. You need to know how to be a sexy man. You need to know how to show that you understand the true nature of women. You need to escalate at the right times and do the proper types of touch. You need to handle transitions and logistics. You need to handle inevitable last minute resistance.
What’s the similarity between all of these examples? In order to succeed, you need the two P’s: Patience and Persistence. That’s all it takes to master anything in life. And I do mean anything.
Patience is a virtue. In order to master anything, you need to have patience.
- First, you need patience with yourself. You need to realize that you won’t be where you want to be in one day. Or 100 days. Or sometimes even 1000 days. So as you go through your failures, your lows, your periods of questioning, your missed opportunities, your dry spells… you need to be patient with yourself.
You have to accept yourself at the level you’re at. Be happy that you’re a proactive man who is improving himself. But be kind to yourself on your current shortcomings.
- You need to have patience with the experience (and to show your experience). A problem that a lot of guys have is that they just want to skip to the climax. They want to meet a sexy girl and then be having sex with her five minutes later. I can’t blame them – it’s in our instincts. However, rushing things inappropriately only shows girls that you’re inexperienced.
Experienced men know that they need to give girls the whole movie. They need to get to know her and validate her emotions and her past. They need to tease her with innuendos and subtle suggestions that she’s a naughty girl. They need to get her swept up in one of their riveting stories. They need to touch her briefly to get her thinking about if they will give her more. They need to kiss her and then go back to regular conversation to get her all hot and bothered. They need to tease her sexually. And then they need to give her a thorough sexual ravishing.
That’s how men who know what they’re doing handle it. They have patience and know that it takes time for all of this to unfold and fall into place. So don’t jump the gun.
- Finally, you need to have patience with the process. You are going to want to give up sometimes. You are going to want to blame the world, or your friends, or your girl for your failure. You are going to wonder if learning game is even worth it.
The Japanese have a wonderful concept called Kaizen. It’s a concept born of Japanese business, where they simply aim to get 1% better every single day. And after 100 days… or 1000 days… things would be completely transformed. You don’t really notice the miniscule changes on a day-to-day basis, but after long stretches of time, you really notice how far you’ve come.
And to get over these periods, you’ll also need…
You have to treat your progress with sexy girls like a constant path of improvement. And you have to know that you may have to go through a long period of persistence before you see any tangible reward. You need to learn to put the process over the results. Then you will be able to persist as long as it takes (until you realize that there is always something you can improve on). Maybe you don’t bring a sexy girl into your bed for an entire year. But as long as you’re improving every day – it will happen.
- Maybe you start off as a bitter man and you realize that it’s not getting you anywhere and that you need to take action.
- Maybe after a month your opening is a bit better.
- Maybe month 2 you commit to going out more often.
- Maybe month 3 you start adopting good fashion and healthier eating and exercise habits.
- Maybe month 4 you learn to up your sexuality with girls.
- Maybe month 5 you realize that you’ve been coming on too strong and start to dial it back.
- Maybe month 6 you start learning how to have fun on your own and become a little more outcome independent.
- Maybe month 7 you kiss a girl, and are so sure that it’s a done deal – only to have her give you real resistance and disappear with her friends.
- Maybe month 8 you learn to let failures go and that there really is an infinite number (for all intents and purposes) of women in this world – way more than you could ever dream of sleeping with.
- Maybe month 9 you get better with touch and with getting girls comfortable around you.
- Maybe month 10 you start to get smoother with moving girls around venues and even to other ones.
- Maybe month 11 you start going for pulls and lose a few on the way home. Or bring them home only to fail to close.
- Maybe during month 12 you successfully put everything together… and you take a cute girl home. Not quite as beautiful or sexy as you envisioned, but cute enough.
AND THEN… at the END of month 12, you find a girl who is exactly your type. You charm her. You employ push-pull. You touch her. You lead her. You escalate the sexuality. You pull her back to your building. You rush up to your apartment and hope that you can keep the energy and sexuality up before she changes her mind. You give her a glass of wine. You kiss her quickly. You escalate toward sex
- And the next morning… you feel the most immense feeling of relief, vindication, and pure satisfaction. You have an amazing week. And now all you have to worry about… is how you make it happen again
And during this year-long process – you could’ve quit. You could’ve quit when girls were being repelled by how overtly sexual you were. You could’ve quit out of a sense of frustration when you could’ve sworn on your life that that girl was going to come with you. You could’ve quit when you had those pulls that fell apart at the last second.
But you didn’t. You persisted. You knew where you wanted to be and you slogged through all of the BS, the nonsense, the frustration, and the doubt to get there.
And you realize, truly, how far you’ve come.
Start at the End
They say that everything is created twice. Before anything is manifested in reality, it must first be crafted in your mind. You don’t just start throwing down bricks and wood for a house without first planning the design and what it needs to be used for/accommodate.
Bringing sexy girls into your bed is the exact same thing. You can just go out, guns blazing, with no plan, and then hope that you get lucky and a girl ends up in your bed. And this will work every once in a while. But it won’t happen with any semblance of consistency. And it won’t get you the caliber of girls that you want.
So if you want to sleep with sexy girl, you have to have a plan before you even walk out your door. “Fail to plan, plan to fail.”
- You need to think about R-selection and projecting those qualities
- You need to know how to position yourself as a dirty man in the eyes of girls
- You need to handle your fashion, hair, and breath
- You need to make sure that you have a clean, comfortable bachelor pad (I cannot tell you how important it is to make a girl so comfortable that she doesn’t want to leave your bed/apartment if you want her to be able to release and have a crazy sexual experience with you)
- You need to think about your logistics and how far you’re going and how you would get back to your place or her place
- You need to account for her logistics and think about how you would potentially get her back to your place as well
- You need to have condoms/drinks/light food available at your apartment
- You need to talk to your roommate (if you have one) about giving you privacy
- You need to see the room when you get to your venue and know where you’ll be able to move girls if you find one you connect with
- You need to think about other venues you can take the girl to if you want to give her the experience of adventure and create an “us vs. the world” experience where she feels like you’re the only constant in her night
- You need to think about closing/pulling lines you may want to use to get the girl back to your place (e.g., Chase likes using “Let’s grab a nightcap”)
THAT is how you put yourself in the position to sleep with sexy girls. If you’ve pulled a sexy girl to your bed, it has little to do with anything you did right then and there. It has much to do with everything you did up until that moment – how you prepared. The separation is in the preparation.
So, having sex with a sexy girl begins before you even walk out of the door to meet her. So if you want to get sexy girls into your bed, you must start at the end and work backwards. That’s the only way that you’ll be able to chart your route to success.
Now that you’ve started at the end, you have to go through and execute your process. It’s important to note that reality will almost never mirror what you envision in your head when dealing with sexy girl. And that’s okay. The whole point of the planning is to give you a framework to work in in order to be successful. The details will always vary.
So… you see a sexy girl across the room? What do you do?
- Approach and either get rejected and move on – or try to push things forward
- Do nothing, and then spend the rest of the night regretting it or foolishly fantasizing about what could have been
Option A will always save you a whole truckload of pain in the long run. So if you see a cute girl, approach. It doesn’t have to be a perfect opener. Just be friendly, animated, and if you can: slightly sexual.
2. Build Rapport
So you’ve approached and she seems receptive. That’s absolutely fantastic. Always nice to take a chance, eh? So now that she’s interested in a conversation, you’ll have to get to know her. A little small talk is okay given that you don’t spend too much time in it. You need to start somewhere. So ask her where she’s from, etc.
And then start subtly screening for logistics. Ask her if she lives in the area (always keep it vague). Then go back to general questions. Then ask who she is there with. Then back to basic rapport.
Then move to deep diving. Start asking her some more personal questions. Find out what she values. Find out some important things that have happened to her.
Then release the valve with teasing. Based on the deep dive, call her a nerd, a mermaid, a vixen, etc. (all of which I’ve called girls). Ask her how she got to the venue.
Start introducing playful touch. Teasing is a good way to playfully touch a girl and to get her to touch you.
Move her to a more private area.
Initiate “Us vs. The World”. Start playing “kill-fuck-marry”; or give her a role (like the Bonnie to your Clyde); or relate to her on only something the two of you understand (people here don’t know what it’s like to be a real wine connoisseur). Make an innocuous comment about something in your home (e.g., I have this amazing bottle I need to share with you).
Watch her reactions and calibrate accordingly. If she’s eating up everything you’re doing, do more and move toward step 3. If she’s hesitating, take a step back for a bit and try to relate to her more. I remember once I was dealing with one of the most beautiful women I’ve ever seen. I was dancing and poking fun at her. She was cold and apathetic for 20 minutes of conversation. But she was still following my lead, so I stayed in it.
She turned out to be a professional dancer and one of the silliest, most animated girls I’ve met in a long time. I never would’ve guessed. And when I called her on it, she said “I guess you just brought it out of me!” So don’t be afraid to just take a step back and stay in the situation if she’s following your lead.
3. Escalate Sexuality
You’ve been touching her playfully. Now start to let your touch linger a bit. Start stroking her arm as you speak in a lower tone into her ear. Rest your hand on her hip. Grab her hands (a great way to initiate innocuous sexual touch). Start speaking more slowly and tell her a very sensual story.
Go back to joking around and poking fun at her. Then, run your hands down her back and briefly touch her butt. Kiss her on the neck softly. Tell her that she smells amazing and you wish the two of you were alone.
4. Pull Her Home
If you’ve been doing things right up until this point, you should have a good idea of what her logistical situation is. Now, it’s your job to handle that situation.
First, get her out of the venue. This is always the biggest challenge with sexy girls. For sexy girls, the outside is much different from where they met you. It makes things real. It makes you a real person and not just some fantasy guy who hit on them who they can tell their friends about during their day/night debriefing.
If you can get her outside with you, half the battle is won.
Then take the next important step. Call a cab/bring her to your car/walk/take a pedicab or whatever mode of transportation will get you to an escalation location. While you’re getting there, it’s of the utmost importance to keep the energy up and the sexual vibe going.
Here is where your bachelor pad clean up/comfort making comes in the clutch. Put her at ease in your home. Offer her a glass of wine/water/mixed drink.
But don’t let her get too comfortable. Kiss her before she has a chance to think about what is the rational – or worse, “socially acceptable” – decision. Kiss her before she starts to think about putting you in the friend zone. Kiss her before you get too in your own head about it.
Kiss her. Tease her a little bit.
Handle last minute resistance. Escalate, and then move things back a bit. Escalate a bit more, and then move things back down the slightest bit. Two steps forward, one step back. Keep going unless she gives you real resistance (and if she does, STOP – no questions asked).
When things are nice and hot/heavy, really turn on the burners. Now, close hard.
That, good friends, is how you bring sexy girls into your bed (or other desired sex location). Understand that you as a man are always a work in progress. Be patient and persistent with yourself and your path. Start with the end in mind and give yourself structure and frameworks to be successful. Approach, build rapport, escalate, pull, close.
It’s not always easy. But it’s very, very simple. And I’m sure the girl will appreciate the trouble. Or, at least the experience.